Chortle Portal / Confessional

Help Me! Please Help Me!

Please, I desperately need your help!

I have no Blog Tagline. I have a cool picture of a lady sewing buttons onto her eyes, reminiscent of the Other Mother in Coraline, though. Ever since she was a baby, Piper has been especially freaked out by my use of silly accents and voices. When I really commit to a character, it scares the crap out of her (like she thinks I’m not actually myself anymore) and she starts to protest and get scrappy. The “Other Mother” is a character of mine. Piper hates the Other Mother.
Anyway, I have this picture of the Button Eye Lady on my site and I have matched the font color of “Contrary Mom” to her lipstick pretty well if I do say so myself. But I have no clever tagline to draw in readers and warn them that I’m ’bouts to tweak their nipples with my magic words. “Contary Mom: I’m ’bouts to tweak your nipples with my magic words.” See, I’m really struggling!Help Pic

Please, dear, clever Followers and future Followers, will you help me? You know me as well as anyone else in this world. What would you tell a first time visitor? How would you warn them in two brief sentences or less? Don’t be shy, go head and let your freak flag fly. I will be fishing for suggestions until August 9th. That’s my self-imposed tagline deadline. I will have a tagline on August 9th. Thank you in advance for your entries. They made me feel all warm inside!

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17 thoughts on “Help Me! Please Help Me!

  1. How about “Another Mother’s Druthers” or “Kicking Mother Goose’s Ass one Cockleshell at Time” or “Rocking silver bells & cockleshells all over the Heartland.” or “What the Hell is a Cockleshell” – okay now I’m obsessed with cockleshells (and Gross Point Blank)!

  2. “Well, you can’t keep having abortions forever”

    “Disclaimer: I don’t actually feed my children broken glass.”

    Two of my favorite lines here 🙂 well, of the funny ones

    Or
    “Warren Buffet’s much cooler neighbor lady”

    • LOL I told my husband I was thinking of taglining my page “Because you can’t keep having abortions forever…” and he thought it was too edgy. Is there such a thing? : )

      • I was raised by wolves (well, hippies in the 70s, same thing) so I am not the person to ask. 🙂 But you can be sure that the people who DID laugh out loud at it would be pretty awesome.

  3. Pingback: Master of our thoughts, prisoner of our words | jessicaslavin

  4. Pingback: Sew Let It Be Written | Contrary Mom

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